LMOH: Dog Walking Attire

Ok, I don't know about you, but my dog loves walks.  He does - he could go for a "walkies" 17 times a day if I were in the mood.  He likes short walks, mind you (.3 miles at a time or less), but he loves them nonetheless.

He also has to go in the early morning hours and the evening hours, hours when usually I am in my pajamas.  Now, I don't know how you do it, but I don't want to have to change into different attire to take him up and down the block every time he asks to go out.  So, during the hot summer months when my PJs are light but maybe not what I would consider attire comfortable enough for me to be going for a walk without some kind of cover up, I've always felt a little 'stranded'.  I felt like my options were: a coat or cardigan, or change my attire.

Until now!  I have discovered the long, sleeveless cardigan.  And I'm OBSESSED.

Link: https://amzn.to/4v8beog

I always prefer black, and this one has pockets.  There are other colors, but they don't have pockets.  

When you pick one up, let me know your thoughts!

If you need other dog walking faves of mine:

Dog bags (biodegradable): https://amzn.to/43afJCR

Harness 1: https://amzn.to/4nJeMux 

Harness 2: https://amzn.to/4dG8kQw

Leash (it comes with a dog bag attachment!): https://amzn.to/43usHuZ

AOT: Insurance Marketplace

How many folks do you know being displaced right now?  It's happening in every market - tech, sales, finance, education, healthcare, etc.

And what do all these folks (in the US) have in common?  They're all scrambling to figure out their insurance.

Proposal:  All individuals get their insurance "on the market".  No employer coverages.  Employers can provide pre-tax dollars to pay for health insurance coverage (like an HSA but of the actual monthly cost, so it would either be in the same HSA/FSA bucket or a wholly separate account...can decide that later).  That way, the family knows and has budgeted for their medical expenses for the year, regardless of their employment situation.  Still have all the companies available to you to pick from.  Still have all the plan options, but this gives people real ability to plan their life.  Employers can offer perks of "assistance in coverage costs" and if you lose your job you lose that benefit...kind of like "employed vs cobra" now, but it's not as much of a shock when you lose your job and then see what COBRA actually costs.

I know of a situation where the insured spouse was displaced.  You'd think: "Luckily, the benefits continue through the severance period"...and while that's true and good in one aspect (the immediacy of needing to find coverage is foregone) the flip side is not so great.  They're going to be done with severance in Aug. Their coverage is good though Aug.  Starting Sept 1 they have to find new insurance.  

Now, you might also think: "Luckily, the spouse is employed and can get insurance," and, again, while true, their employer requires up to 60 days notice of a qualifying event to effectively change coverage.  So, for them to be covered starting Sept 1, they have to submit paperwork of the qualifying event by June 1.  

So, now you're thinking: "Fine, just submit the termination paperwork, and that'll be it".  Nope. The spouse's employer requires the COBRA information and any other documentation showing the end date of coverage.  The originally employed / covered spouse's company doesn't sent that letter until AFTER the severance period ends.

If you're doing math, that means:  Last date of severance is (let's say) August 7.  Aug 7 company 1 sends the info.  It arrives (if we're pretending mail sends quickly) by Aug 14.  Spouse submits it to company 2 Aug 17th (b/c sometimes mail comes after business hours).  Now company 2 technically has until October 17th to cover them (so possibly starting coverage Oct or even Nov).

That means this couple has the potential to be without coverage or have to pay COBRA prices for 1-3 months (Aug, Sept, Oct).

"So just save the money" you say.  Fine.  We'll forgo the reality that COBRA can be 3-5x what the individual is paying through their company.  But remember, each time you change insurance company coverages, your deductible restarts.  So, while COBRA allows them to keep their coverage and their paid-to-date deductible...their coverage will start over in Sept/Oct when they move to the spouse's insurance.

So why not stay on COBRA?  That's a fair argument, and maybe for this couple being in the back-half of the year, that makes sense. But what if you're laid off the first half of the year and you already had a decent number of health events?

The whole system is messed up and needs to be redone.  I just feel for all these people in the middle of these horrific events already trying to figure out their upended lives without the stress of managing through health care too.

LMOH: A Small Token

 Yesterday I headed to a book event where I had a booth to sell my novels (www.lastbitepublishing.com for all my works).  The event ended up just okay for me, as it was really more of a romance / fantasy crowd and my books have a hyper-realism vibe.  But I didn’t know that going in, and events can be 50/50 on the cash vs venmo situation, so I stopped by the bank to grab some small bills in case I needed to make change (I didn’t, but again, didn’t know that.)

Well, after I was handed my cash, the teller also handed me a white carnation and said, “Happy Mother’s Day”.  Wow.  I stood a little baffled for a moment and then took the flower and said thank you, and as I stared at the carnation, confused, walking out of the bank, I surprised myself by suddenly smiling.  What a fun surprise!  I may not be a mom in the traditional sense of having human children, but I do have fur babies.  I am a mom.  And even if I didn’t, you know what? The fact that a bank spent the money to give me a flower is fun.  Mom or not.  So many companies are taking things away from consumers right now and firing people claiming “AI” and “budget” (opinions on that reserved for another day), that consumers are just exhausted.  I loved every moment of having that flower, even though I had no need for it.  It was thoughtful and kind, and I know it cost even the tiniest bit of money that other companies would have cried “no budget!” and run the other way.  

Do I want or need a flower every time I go to run an errand?  No.  But would I love to see more companies spend a little extra to make customers feel appreciated?  10000%. Because without us, and without us having disposable income…they have no customers.  

AOT: Application Questions Need A Revamp

 Ok, if you’ve read my article about the application process needing rework, then you likely know where tho is going.  If you haven’t read it yet, keep scrolling.  It’s worth the read!

Ok, so application questions.  I don’t mean name and email, though I do actually have concerns with those things being visible before you’re selected.  Why? Because if we’re really going to select the best candidate, keeping personal info hidden helps to reduce any bias, subconscious or otherwise.  

And that’s where all these additional questions don’t make any sense to me.  Why am I picking my gender, race (and sometimes answering this questions multiple ways), veteran and disability status?  If you’re saying, “because discrimination,” I challenge that because most forms now allow you to opt-out of answering them with a “decline to self-identify”.  Years ago declining to answer wasn’t an option.  Now it is.  For all these questions.  So if I can decline all the questions, why am I answering them at all?  At this point, the most unbiased way to handle this is to not ask them at all.  If you need interview accommodations then that comes up when they request the interview.  If you’re extended the offer and need accommodations, then that comes up after the offer has been extended.  It just makes no sense for me to pick “decline to self-identify identify” for all these questions. Again, if that’s an option, then don’t make me answer them.  You can ascertain some of that from my name alone - which is also not ok, and why I think they should be masked until the interview is extended.  

I also don’t know why my education matters.  Maybe for entry positions, it’s a quick differentiator, but once you have 2-3 years experience under your belt, why does it matter?  So many jobs can be taught, and the interview process should be ascertaining if you’re capable of the learning and thought process required.  Otherwise it’s on my resume.

I will say some of these companies are better about not asking you to re-parse your uploaded resume.  And for that I’m grateful.  And I have heard some people are uploading their resumes in a format that create an image instead of a searchable format - but that’s on the company for allowing you to upload in that format in the first place.

Still a long way to go.  Best of luck to all applicants.

HH&R: cleaning with Hydrogen Peroxide or Vinega

 Note: NEVER MIX THE TWO.  It created an acid that is harmful.  Again, NEVER MIX THE TWO.

That said, using one or the other to clean is PHENOMENAL.  It’s safe, healthy, has no toxic chemicals for scent nor leaves any residue.  It kills topical bacteria and mould.  It sanitized.  It brightens.  It’s amazing.

Recently we were cleaning a rental property for the new tenants.  We’d had a good amount of renovation done inside so there was your standard “Reno debris” like dust or dirt.  But we’d also received the house in a condition that made us wonder if it had ever been cleaned, not just topically wiped down.  My husband went through 8 bottles of vinegar to get the gunk out of the washing machine.  (We had to totally replace the dryer vent pipe.  So gross).  He used multiple bottles of hydrogen peroxide on the shower that we hadn’t redone and by the time he was done I said “omg the tile had a blue hue to it?! No way! So pretty”.  And the grout was almost white again!  The floorboards and tile had no residue on them after two rounds of a vinegar and water mixture cleaning, and everything just finally felt and looked clean again.  

I joke that most people’s basic level of cleaning gets them to about 40-60% and they’re happy to hire a cleaning service to get it to 70-80%.  My husband and my level of clean is 70-80% so it’s just on us (and let’s be honest, on him bc he loves it and is sooooo good at it) to get it to 90-95%.  So when it starts at 20% clean and we get it to 80-95%, the reward is wonderful.  

And all because hydrogen peroxide and vinegar exist.  Never mix them, but separately, they are amazing!

HH&R: Take Photos to Mark Progress or Issues

Home renovations can be incredibly exciting.  They can also be incredibly taxing and stressful.  One of the best means to addressing both?  Photos.

You can start by planning to do straight "Before and After" photos, but I'm talking more.  More photos.  More leverage to help you see progress and more clear cut explanation drivers for concerns.

Why take photos:

- For personal reasons:  Photos allow you to look back at progress and see what things looked like, remember what you've been through, show the progression, and help you see the 'forest despite the tree's, if you will.  As we renovate our home, we find ourselves looking back at photos going "oh! right!  OMG I can't believe it looked like that one time!"  Even though you think you're going to remember how amazing the transformation is, the reality is that sometimes because you see it all the time and are in the middle of it, progress doesn't seem as exciting.  Photos help you remember and really enjoy the actual progress you made.

- For working with contractors:  There's an old saying that says "You can say you see a 6, and I can say I see a 9, and depending on where we're standing, we can both be right but frustrated because we don't see the other's point of view."  Same is true for construction.  Having photos help give everyone the same starting point for the conversation.  It allows you to explain to the trades folk doing work what you're seeing and why it's a concern, and it also gives them the same starting point for explaining their thinking and perspective.  Without it, you all 'hope' you're basing your discussion in the same assumptions.  With photos, there's no assuming.

Happy renovation!

AOT: Choosing Where Your Taxes Go

 Ok, it's that time of year - Bonus Season - and it brings up a lot of angst for a lot of people.  If you don't get a bonus, you can still relate. 

Every paycheck we get includes the removal of money to taxes.  You notice it more at Bonus Season because of the sheer % they remove which is often higher than your normal tax bracket, but irrespective of your tax bracket, this cool idea popped into my head.

What if you could define how you wanted your tax money allocated?!

Disclaimer - I'm actually pro-taxes.  I like roads and infrastructure.  I'd like to see universal health care and public transportation and a greater sense of humanitarianism and environmentalism.  But even if those aren't your choices, I bet you'll still find this idea worth discussing.

How it would work:  When you sign up for a job (or if you have a job where you don't pay taxes / e.g. you pay your own taxes, etc, then you'd do the selections there) you select the top 3-5 areas you want your taxes to go. 

• Infrastructure (roads, bridges, sidewalks, internet, lighting, etc)
• Education
• Transportation (busses, trains, also bridges, etc) - similar to infrastructure, but with additional other items
• Defense
• Parks & Recreation (environmental protection, parks, public land maintenance)
• Social services
• Healthcare
• Historical restoration and preservation
• ETC

Obviously a portion of your taxes would go to fund the headcount required as well - thinks you can't get out of because in order for government to work, you have to pay people to work in government, but the rest of it (and the bulk of it) would be defined by you.  And it would go in equal parts to those areas.

What does this do? This gives an immediate voice to the working public telling elected officials how they want their money spent.  Now, many of these services would cross (e.g. healthcare and social services and education, infrastructure and transportation, even defense) but the point is we identify how we want our money spent by where we elect our dollars to go.  Then based on how much that particular fund has, they can do things with it.  If 95% of people elect "healthcare", then guess what?  The government now has motive and money to move towards universal healthcare.

Etc.  

Would this upset the balance of power, politics, and capitalism?  100%. But maybe it's time for America to join the rest of the world in taking care of its citizens and for its citizens to start thinking of themselves as global and community participants instead of solo players fighting one another.

Burnt Out Millennial (mix) is Live!

I'm so excited!  My album, Burnt Out Millennial (mix), is officially live!

Sample all 17 tracks and connect to the major platforms:  Spotify & Apple Music / iTunes

• https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/aboutstephanie/burnt-out-millennial-mix?ref=release

YouTube Music is coming soon.  Keep tracking my page.  https://www.youtube.com/@AboutStephanie

Quick Synopsis:  This is the mix CD we'd burn today if that's what we did. Written for millennials navigating adulthood in a world that changed, this album moves through exhaustion, anger, humor, nostalgia, and small, stubborn hope.

Seventeen tracks. Different voices. Different styles.
Pop, rap, ballads, country, grunge, Latin, K-pop — all tied together by the same chapter of life.

For anyone who did what they were told… and is now adapting, recalibrating, and sometimes white-knuckling it anyway.

Why it matters:  There's a quiet understanding that as you age, the music of the day is no longer for or about you.  Maybe that was okay in generations past, but today's Gen X & Millennial generations need an outlet that both understands them and caters to them.  Our music was varied, angry, happy, wistful, hopeful, and frustrated.  And our music from the 90s and 2000s is still good, but we want songs that are today-relevant.  I worked really hard to make that possible.

I genuinely hope you find at least one track to love.  Share which one that is and why!  Happy listening!

LMOH: Creativity

I had some time off at the end of last year, and during it something in my brain switched on.  I've always been creative, but I'd been creative in long projects - novels, kids books, etc.  A friend over the holidays told me about Suno, an AI music app, and while I'm not the biggest proponent of AI (I think it has LOTs of good application and possibilities - like robot vacuums and mops - I don't think people are taking or appreciating the level of risk mitigation and oversight it should be coming with), I don't have the voice or musical instrument capabilities to create songs.  However, I AM a writer.  And lyrics and prompting the general tone of the song I can do.

And I have.  And it's SO fun.

What I will say is that creativity doesn't have a timeline.  I can't say "I'm going to be creative from 7-8pm or 12-1pm or 8-9am".  At least mine doesn't.  Maybe some of you have creativity switches that you can flip on and be focused for a set timeframe, but I do not.  I have found that most of my lyric writing is either prompted after I've heard or thought of the musical inspiration, or after 9pm, when I'm in bed trying to sleep (which I also can't fault because now instead of my brain being awake with anxiety while I'm trying to sleep, it's working out song lyrics...much less anxiety producing).

So if you want to be creative, first start by rewarding your creativity when it turns on, whatever time that may be!  If you love on it, it will love you back.  And creativity is good for the mind and soul.

Song & AboutStephanie.com

As you know I love writing.  You may also know that I love singing, even though I know my singing voice has limitations.  That said, I have started voice lessons again to make what voice I do have better.  It's been fun.

So, when a friend of mine told me about Suno, an app that uses AI to make music, I was intrigued.  I may not be the singer that you want to hear on the radio, but I have some song ideas in my head.  Figured if I could get the lyrics and an outline of what I wanted into the AI engine, maybe it would turn out what I had envisioned.

And, sure enough, it's been pretty fun!  I have created three songs so far:  Send Me a Christmas Card, Ending, and Love My Dog.

They're on Spotify, iHeartRadio, and YouTube Music for your enjoyment (and downloading!).  I'm hoping to keep adding to the list this year!  I'm sure I don't make use of all the features of Suno, though I have tried a number of them and was only so-so impressed.  But for what I have used it for, I have really enjoyed it!

You can also find links to them on my new website:  www.aboutstephanie.com where I've consolidated all my published works and consulting / strategy offerings.

Excited to have you enjoying more of my creative works!

LMOH: Do Something Good

It’s coming on the end of the year, and it’s time to make resolutions.  For the longest time I did those things, and then for the last few years I realised making resolutions at the end of the year was just trendy.  It wasn’t functional.  I’d spend the year doing what I needed to do or what I thought was the right move not because of a resolution but because of the bigger goals I had in mind.  Not everyone thinks about “life goals” as being impactful ways to guide your life, but they are.  If you don’t have big life goals, then you’re just trudging along on whatever path seems to appear as opposed to actively discerning every possibility against a greater goal.

But that can be intimidating for us if we’re not used to working with a “big goals” mentality, and that’s ok.  It takes a while.  So in the meantime, and for those times when I wasn’t sure what my next big “life goal” was, I tried to default to the “do something good or helpful” mindset.  It was incredibly helpful.  It made small decisions less overwhelming or points of would-be indecision easier because I’d just have to ask myself, “What would be the good or helpful thing to do here?”

So if you’re looking for a 2026 resolution, and because 2025 has been (as we can collectively agree) overwhelming, I highly recommend the “Do Something Good” resolution.  Drop off a canned good.  Pay it forward at the coffee shop, donate a used blanket or towel that’s fraying and at the end of its life to a local animal shelter or rescue (trust me, they are so helpful!), put one piece of litter back in the garbage can, read a book to your kid or niece/nephew, text a friend, “Hi! Thinking of you.  Hope you’re having a good day” randomly, just to make them smile….you get the point.  They don’t have to be big gestures, and they don’t always even have to cost money.  But they do require one moment’s effort, and that means you are “taking action” as most year-end resolutions require.

The best part? They make YOU feel good, too, and everyone can use a pick me up these days.  And I bet you’ll find it starts to become a habit.  And as the movie Klaus says, “One selfless act usually sparks another,” so maybe your act starts a ripple that helps do lots of good.  And we can all use a little more “good” in the world.

Happy New Year!

LMOH: You Are Enough

I saw a post on Instagram this morning that said something to the effect of:  If women felt confident about themselves as they are, whole industries would collapse.  And it made me smile.  Because it's true.  Yes, that also applies to men, and so we'll extend it to say:  Remember, you're enough as you are.  

At a time when Hollywood is reverting to the 60s-90s uber thin model, and everyone feels like their bank accounts are full of cobwebs instead of dollars, and it's also the holiday season so companies are trying to push you to spend-spend-spend, take a minute to pause.  Breathe.  Stop.  You really don't need any of it.  You don't need to be thinner or prettier.  You don't need to be taller or shorter or have a different nose or hair color even.  Yes we want you to be healthy, be balanced, be continuing to improve yourself mentally and emotionally, but the newest sneaker or eye shadow or toy or car or phone or highlight trend or one more pant size down isn't going to change who you are inside.  If you're putting in the effort to be a good, kind, honest, caring person, then you're probably pretty great just as you are.  No new labels, colors, size needed.

Remember.  You're enough as you are.

Happy holiday season.

AOT: Transparency in the Application Process Needed

I’m sure everyone reading this is either themselves applying for jobs or knows at least two people actively looking for work.  I know four.  It’s really unfortunate that four folks in my circle are actively looking, as that speaks volumes to the general discontentedness of the state of the American worker right now, but we can save that lens for another day.

Today’s focus is the lack of respect employers show when letting an individual know they’re not progressing in the application process.  #4 is the most critical and always comes up in convos when people complain about the backwards application process.

We all know the application process is a joke.  Between AI blocking candidates and companies having to post jobs externally for compliance reasons even though they already have a candidate in mind…amongst hundreds of other reasons, it’s a shot in the dark to go from applicant to interviewee.  We all know this, but given the hoops applicants have to go through, there should be some mandatory things employers should have to do as well.

(1) not require you to re-fill in all your information when it’s on your resume.  Period.  You all already use AI.  We know it.  You can read my word doc or pdf.  Stop making us parse our application.

(2) require your internal leadership to apply for jobs at their company once every 3 years to see the failure points.  I bet most of them would get auto-rejected as well, but you don’t see it because you don’t require your internal mirror to be held up (think Undercover Boss, but for applications)

(3) remove the sentence “After careful consideration”.  We know that line is bullshit.  Half of applicants don’t make it past AI (not a real statistic, just how it feels) so stop pretending you’re turning someone down within 72 hours of applying because of “careful consideration”.  You can use that after an actual interview, not before.

(4) the most critical - employers should be required to inform applicants how many folks applied when they are turned down.  Ex - the auto reject because AI doesn’t like your resume for some reason (granted, I don’t think this should be permitted as it’s bogus anyway, but if it has to continue, there should be a mandated info sharing). “Thank you for your application.  Your application will not be progressing.  576 applicants have applied so far.”  

Now, let’s say you made it past the AI but not to the first interview round.  “Thank you for your application.  Your resume was not selected for continued consideration for this role.  1025 applicants applied and only 18 are progressing to interviews.”

Either way, the lack of mandated transparency is sucking the lives out of applicants, including my friends, and it’s painful to see the lack of respect shown to people who need money to work and, for the most part, are capable humans.  There are few jobs (on a straight % basis) that require some specialized training, so the inability to get seen and considered is truly the pinnacle of the power dynamic between employers and employees.  I hope it improves.  It seems corporations just want us perpetually exhausted and disenfranchised because it suits their bottom lines better, but that’s not the way you treat people.  

HH&R: Home Flipping Mistakes

As mentioned, we like to frequent open houses because it's a hobby of ours.  I love homes and architecture and my husband loves being practical.  Recently we saw a 'renovated' home that is trying to increase the sales price by $275K.  It was a full gut, or so it seemed.  but all they did was change the superficial materials.  The prior seller had redone the roof, the exterior and patio, and poured a new concrete driveway.  The current sellers don't seemed to have done much other than 'update' the kitchen and provide some new paint and bathrooms.  Here's what I mean - these are mistakes that I believe made them have to accept a reduced offer.

The dining room;  It's still the entrance off the garage.  It's a 2500 sq ft home and they didn't create any kind of dedicated drop zone or mudroom.  They could have.  But they didn't.  Someone spending north of $800K is likely going to want somewhere to drop their stuff, and there's no dedicated space.  It's just straight dining room.

The kitchen:  

• They put vents on the floor.  Those can be moved to the baseboards of the cabinets.  Yes it costs a bit of money to move them, but by moving them you (1) gain the safety of not having people drop things and food bits down your vents, including liquids, and (2) make it so that you're not stepping on it all the time (or your robot vacuum isn't trying to work over it).  Especially when you're already moving the kitchen to a different part of the house.  So poorly planned.
• Also, there's no pantry.  They had space next to the door that went outside.  They could have moved the island over a twinge and put in a double door shelf pantry without issue.  
• OR they could have relocated the laundry room from the closet next to the kitchen to somewhere else and reused that space as a pantry.

Laundry room - did I mention they moved the kitchen?  Doing so means they so could have created a drop zone / laundry room.  So irresponsible.

Multiple rooms:  They left the wall panelling and just painted it.  This keeps the smell in the house.  It needs to be redone with new drywall.  That smell could be just old house, sure, but it also could be more nefarious and 'not worrying' about it and just painting it leaves the problem for the buyer.  I don't believe that's good practice.

Yes, the house is 'pretty' but they had to reduce their price to sell, and the buyer is going to have to contend with these misses at some point.  Spend a little extra to do it a little more thoughtfully and then you have a better chance of not only getting your WHOLE investment back but also of creating a name for yourself as a flipper people want to buy homes from and will follow you to do so.

LMOH: Holiday Card Time

It’s official! Holidays are here and that means it’s time for the annual holiday card.  And the moment we finalise ours and it finally arrives at my house is one of those unmatched happiness triggers!  I love unboxing them and knowing I get to address and send a little bit of happiness to others.  Apparently, our cards are even known for bringing people joy as we’ve received comments about how people always love our cards (sometimes they have unique or fun twists) and they love how they can rely on them to arrive right after Thanksgiving.

You see, my family didn’t do holiday cards growing up.  My husband’s did, but we didn’t, and I didn’t get into holiday cards until after college.  Initially I bought whatever cute holiday cards I could find in the sale aisles of places and tried to leave personalized messages on the inside.  Once we got married, we started sending out the photo cards you see advertised online, and to keep up with the message, we’d add a small bit of commentary on the back.  And with each batch, I’d turn on the holiday music, get in the spirit, and enjoy hand writing the addresses to each person because it would take up 30-60 minutes.  I struggle with the holidays because it’s just never the same after you lose a parent, but this is something I continue to look forward to and find great joy in doing.  That and baking cookies, but I can’t save one cookie every year to remember.  (I mean, I guess teeeeechnicallly I could, but no).  

So, I’m counting down the days until I can steal one card away to save and then prep the others with the holiday ambiance I’ve come to enjoy.  I hope you find a small holiday tradition that, even if sometimes the holidays can be hard, brings you the bit of joy to put a smile on your face, too.

Cheers!