AOT: Broke in Your 30s vs Your 20s

I brought this up with my husband the other day, and then more recently with my friends who all seemed to echo similar sentiments.  I'm approaching 40, and as I think back on my 20s and 30s, one thing seemed odd to me in a way I hadn't anticipated.  I've always been prone to stressing about my finances, every since my mom died and we were thrown into the very real pool of being incredibly broke without her income and with her medical (and other) bills to pay off.  It happened when I was 21 and ever since then you could almost say I've been hyper vigilant about staying out of debt and above water since then.  Yes, there is some debt I had to undertake (student loans, mortgage) but my husband and I steer clear of other debt like CC debt, the kind that comes with an interest rate.  Even my student loans were a beast to pay off.

So as we were walking the other day I looked at him and said, "You know, it's funny.  I thought my 30s would be awesome because we'd 'have more money and freedom,' but like, no.  I'm not broke like I was in my 20s, but I'm broke in a new way, in an 'I'm trying to save for the future and not go into debt while also not living on ramen and saltines only and everyday' kind of way, and it's utterly exhausting."

To my surprise, he and my friends have all echoed similar scenarios back.  Yes, compound that with COVID in 2020 and a slew of other mishaps that peppered the last two decades for millennials, and it almost seems odd that we would have or should have expected anything else.  But between trying to plan for a retirement that may or may not exist and may or may not include social security, pay off student debt which feels like digging yourself out of quicksand, and for some of my friends looking at raising kids and/or going through divorce, and/or losing parents and paying estate fees and attorney fees and moving fees...it's all quite berating.  It makes me realize I should give myself and other people within a decade of my age more grace to feel numb or annoyed or frustrated or, or or...more often.  

Anyway, I hope you're finding things are going well for you, but if you feel like you're spinning in a vortex of Groundhog's Day (like the movie) and wondering when your bank account will read a number that makes you think "hey, I could splurge and not be at zero!", just know you're not alone.  Wishing you some peace in what's started as a very chaotic year as well.

LMOH: Long Weekend Vibes

 Mmmm, waking up today and realizing a long weekend is ahead is one of the best feelings.  I already love waking up on Fridays because it means it's "special coffee" day (aka we save our Nespresso for the weekends based on a long tradition of making Fridays and weekends special).  And then waking up AND realizing that on top of Special Coffee Friday it's also going to be a long weekend?!  Hello, happiness!

What special things do you have planned (or enjoy doing) on long weekends?

Food: Chicken Wings FTW

So, for the holidays we had a houseful of 7 for 6 days.  I had a lot to make so one day I just got a bunch of chicken wings to bake.  Yes bake.  And they were a HUGE hit.  Everyone kept asking what I did because they tasted great, and one of the people at the house, like me, doesn't love when chicken wings are dipped or slathered in sauce.  We like them simple and yummy.

Now, the recipe seems too simple, but I promise if you bake them long enough, they taste fantastic!

Ingredients:

- Chicken wings

- Salt

Instructions:

- Preheat oven to 425

- Lay chicken wings skin side up on a pan (which I also covered in parchment paper because it makes for easier clean up, but that's your call)

- Sprinkle salt on the top of all chicken wings

- Put in oven for 40 min

- At 40 min, pull them out of the oven and with tongs flip them all over so the skin side is facing down, then flip them back over so the skin side is facing up 

        - I usually go from one side of the pan flipping them over (e.g. left to right) and then back the same way again (e.g. left to right)

        - This is essentially a "quick baste" - it gets some of the juices that have seeped off them back onto the skin to create a crispiness.  No waiting, this whole process should take like 2-3 minutes.

- Place back in oven for 20 more minutes

- Remove and enjoy at the temperature you prefer (I usually have to let mine sit for ~5 min to cool a bit)

Simple.  But amazing!  Enjoy!

LMOH: Ringing in the New Year

 Happy New Year!  If you’re like me you’ve approached this new year with a little trepidation.  Last year was a lot and while there were some high points for sure, I just find I’m not (to date myself here) “psyched” about celebrating as I used to be.  

That said, I awoke this morning feeling happy and light.  Then I stepped outside into a clear, brisk, and refreshing morning as I let the dogs out.  Then I found my foster, Jet, and our dog, Faye, playing together (which is a rare occurrence - Faye is a corgi and corgi legs are short so Jet, in trying to play, usually swipes her with his long legs and she gets annoyed, so they don’t play much).  But there they were, happy and playing, and I found it warmed my heart.

So who knows?  Maybe this will be an excellent year.  For all of us.

LMOH: Sending a Kind Word

I know I already posted about the joys of getting a holiday card, and how it's like unwrapping a surprise gift (which we rarely get as an adult).  Well, you know another form of that that doesn't have to wait for the once-a-year moment?  Sending a thank you note.  Yes, a hand-written Thank You card is always great, but even a thank you text or email - letting someone know what a great job they did - means the world.  Feel like going the extra mile?  If it's work related, send the compliment to that person's boss and blind copy (e.g. BCC) the person.  It's rare that a boss hears the 'good' things.  Most of the time when they are looped in it's because of complaints.  So this has the added benefit of helping the person out (1) work wise b/c their boss now knows they did something appreciated and (2) personally, because people do more who feel appreciated.  

Hopefully you get a chance to thank someone soon.  And even maybe get one yourself!  Cheers!

New Post Categories - Streamlining the Experience

 Ok, so I realized that I have a lot of interests, and I enjoy sharing thoughts and insight with you all on an array of topics.  That said, when I take a step back and think about the "array" it's possible to narrow the topics into 3 categories, and moving forward I will be doing that to help you all have a more positive interaction with my posts by knowing right away what the topic covers!

So what I will do is put in the title one of the following:

- Food: (these topics will cover food items such as recipes, thoughts, experiences, etc)

- LMOH: (Short for Little Moments of Happiness - cementing my belief that life's joy or moments of awe and inspiration can happen in the littlest of things or events.)

- AOT: (All Other Thoughts - delving into the other areas of  intrigue, query, curiosity, and thought, helping to showcase well-roundedness and interest in all potential facets of life).

I hope that this new mechanism of categorization helps improve your experience in following and returning to my blog!  Have a great weekend!

The Joy of Holiday Cards

Growing up I never fully appreciated holiday cards, but as an adult, it's become a little magical, getting this individually wrapped surprise gift in the mail.  Maybe it's just me, but I don't get a lot of good surprises in the mail, lest as an adult in general, so I've come to find this little cardboard of happiness is really just that - happy!

We even have a card holder so we can display them until after the holiday season is over.  Some people splurge on fancy, double sided photo cards.  Others send canned cards you might find at any holiday store.  Doesn't matter.  I love putting them on the card holder all the same.  (Except glitter.  Please don't send me glitter.  That stuff never comes off!)

So I have to admit, knowing how much I enjoy getting holiday cards, it always makes me smile to hear from those who receive ours that they, too, brought a smile to their faces.

Never underestimate the power of a kind, little gesture.  We could all use a few more of them, I'm sure, and they always mean the world.

Remember Gratitude

 I see a lot of memes and gifs about how stressful 2024 has been and how it appears the end of the road maybe isn't near.  I'd probably agree to an extent.  Lately I've been very stressed.  Sure, I have some coping mechanisms (deep breathing, listening to the sounds of the ocean, vegging out in front of the TV likely to something I've already seen so it doesn't give me more anxiety, walking, etc etc), but one thing I find always kind of resets my brain is focusing on the things for which I am grateful.

If you've done this before, you're probably nodding along.  Things like Gratitude Journals now exist in the common vernacular in a way they didn't even 10 or 20 years ago.  If you're not used to thinking or speaking aloud the things that make you grateful, you're probably rolling your eyes a bit or going "yeah, sure."  But, no, really! There's even science behind it!

https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/#neuroscience

Expressing gratitude actually helps wire the brain to focus more on the good in your life.  So when you're feeling particularly stressed, frustrated, annoyed, or even low... after a good vent (because who doesn't love a good venting session?!)... make sure to say aloud (or at least to yourself) at least one thing you're grateful for.  It doesn't even have to be big.  It can be as simple as "I had coffee this morning".  But you get the idea.  

Feeling adventurous?? Go for three things you're grateful for, if you can!  Heck, even five!!  The point is, it helps.  Really.  And you might find yourself even smiling (but shhh, that can be our little secret).

New Kid's Book Coming Soon - What Ein Prefers!

 

ANNOUNCING MY SECOND KID'S BOOK!!!

Coming to Amazon 11/1 (Pre-order available now) - What Ein Prefers is a story about Ein (short for Einstein), a smart and wise corgi, who has learned that the way to enjoy your favorite moments even more is to do them your preferred way.  The story uncovers just what Ein's preferences are and why they're so wonderful!

This comes after a wonderful reception of my first kid's book, What Faye Loves.

There's a kickstarter campaign underway through mid November and an Etsy store (under Last Bite Publishing) for folks who want more "package" prizes and a-la-carte goodies, like the cards and stickers.  PS - for the Etsy store, please give me until Thanksgiving to ship it all, but then after that the normal few business days apply!

Otherwise, the books themselves are orderable through Amazon!

And...as always, a portion of the proceeds to back to help local animal rescues.  

I hope you can bring Ein and Faye into your lives and enjoy what they have to offer!

The Little Things

 It's turning to fall in the northern hemisphere and the respite from the heat is welcome.  I loved wearing a jacket and pants the other day, the cool breeze on my face.  Aaaaaaaah, fall.

A few other little things I've enjoyed lately:

- a caramel apple

- getting 'fall' dinner plates and bowls that match our halloween salad plates and cups

- mornings in the backyard in the cool breeze

- driving with the windows down again

- pumpkin yummies

What are some of your little enjoyments now that the seasons are changing? 

Home Buying Needs Changes

 I’m not sure about you, but I’m so over the housing market variation in quality.  One of our favorite pastime ones is to go house hunting (because you never know!) but lately it’s just been more frustrating than not.  Our friend is a realtor and after speaking with her, we realized we’re not alone.  Here are some changes I wish the real estate market would make:

(1) require the seller to do a fully inspection before the house goes on the market

- this would help buyers and sellers alike be eyes-wide open with what the state of their house is

- sellers can determine which items they will fix (and list which have been fixed) and which won’t

-  now someone doesn’t fall in love with something only to find out there are tons of problems and then figuring out what will be fixed or not becomes a whole event

(2) create and implement a scale by which the upkeep of the house is defined and incorporate that into the sale price.

- sorry, but just basing it on square footage alone is no longer ok.  I could have a 3000 sq ft house in shambles and another impeccably upkept and they go on the market for the same price?  All that does is frustrate the seller and the buyer because it sets unrealistic expectations.

- instead, create a scale (1-5 or 1-10, don’t care) where 1 is completely in shambles and 5 (or 10) is brand new.  Then, on a scale of 1-5 you have 4 being “like new / well kept”, 3 being “average” and 2 being “needs work”.  Now you factor that into the starting list price and value and, again, eyes wide open.  No one is surprised and MAYBE it would incentivise people to actually maintain their properties.

Share other ideas you have in the comments!  Happy house hunting.

Goodbye, Ein

After almost eleven years together, we sadly had to say goodbye to Ein, our oldest (and first) corgi.  He finally succumbed to his bone cancer and we miss him everyday.  While his book, What Ein Prefers, comes out later this year, (similar to his sister's book, What Faye Loves)...in the process of healing, I wrote the below poem.  If you've lost a pet, hopefully it brings you peace and solace, too.  They always mean so much to us.

GOODBYE, EIN

by Stephanie Houser

5.1.24

I remember when we first got you, and how you smiled at me with a great big grin

You were so excited to start a life and know what it meant to be a family, from within

And we watched you grow and play and love all the moments big and small

In fact sometimes it seemed like you really just were in love with it all

You forced us to be better, too, and feel love in a new kind of way

To learn patience and trust and kindness and togetherness each day

And while some days were harder than others, trying even (one could say)

You were always worth it, even if in the moment we may have felt another way

We knew it was getting close to saying goodbye yet we didn’t quite know how 

Because all the days and years that have passed are so special to us now

When you love someone like we loved you, it’s hard to think of letting go

But we knew it was what was best for you because letting you suffer was a big no-no

So when the doctor did what doctors do for dogs when it’s their time

We said goodbye to our best friend and family member, no longer in his prime

And while we’ll miss you forever, my sweet little man, we’ll love you even more

Because it was time to say goodbye and let you walk on through that door

But our memories of you will be carried with us, every one making us smile with all our heart

And we’ll thank you for how wonderful you were, even though now we are apart

Because, my bestest of best friends, you’ll always be my little bear…forever…no matter what

Pumpkin Cake Cookies!

 Ok, so it’s finally fall and I could not wait anymore until I started making some fall goodies.  However I didn’t have any pumpkin cookie recipes so I went on the hunt.  Happily, I found a recipe but given I had more brown sugar than white sugar and recently found out I’m allergic to cinnamon, I had to make some edits.  Those edits turned out to be amazing!!!!!  Recipe below.  Enjoy!

Ingredients:

- 1 stick (1/2c) butter, softened

- 1/2c sugar

- 1c brown sugar

- 1tsp vanilla

- 1 c pumpkin purée (not pumpkin pie purée)

- 1 egg

- 1tsp baking powder

- 1tsp baking soda

- 2.5c flour (I use gluten free)

(You can add cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves as desired, but I didn’t and I loved them.  Very fresh tasting).

Preheat the oven to 350.  Blend the sugar and butter.  Add in vanilla, pumpkin, and egg.  Mix until well blended (you might have what looks like a separated dough but it’s just the pumpkin).  Add in dry ingredients until smooth and well mixed.  

Bake for 15 (to 18) min, but I found 15 to be perfect.

Seriously.  So good.

My New Obsession: Walnut Butter

 It's official, I'm obsessed with walnut butter.  It's so good.  And two spoonfuls mixed with a handful of chocolate chips?!  Delightful; the perfect afternoon snack.

As we know, I have a lot of things that my body is sensitive too.  I recently found out my blood type, and if you follow those "Eat for your blood type" diets, it makes a lot of sense why I don't handle certain goods well.

Well, as it turns out, of all the nuts, walnuts maybe are the best for me (or, said differently, my body best tolerates them), which is great, because I've always loved them!

However, as I get older, sometimes eating nuts and the subsequent little pieces that trickle through my digestive tract (like many other foods) can cause more irritation that I want (and sometimes migraines as a result).  So, I decided to try walnut butter instead, because it's already ground down to a paste, so I figured maybe I'd have better luck.

Now, if you want something other than PB or Almond butter, it's not necessarily right on your grocery store shelf.  I had to hunt for some walnut butter.  I should also note it's expensive and comes in the tiniest of jars.  However ... TOTALLY WORTH IT!

That said, I won't be able to eat it all the time because of the cost, but if that means enjoying a spoonful of nut butter becomes more of a special treat, then so be it!  I can't say enough awesome things about it.

Hopefully you find your favorite nut butter, too!

Unlikely Allergies

 So, apparently, being allergic to pork is a thing.

Ok, so I know some of you are reading that thinking, "of course it's a thing," so let me clarify.  Being sneakily allergic to pork is a think.

That doesn't make any sense, right?  Agree.  Which is why it took me four (almost five) years to figure out that I am sensitive to - in a sense allergic - to pork.

I've always enjoyed bacon, but I never really had an affinity for pulled pork or ham or pork chops, etc.  In fact, growing up, when my mom said it was "pork chop night" I always groaned.  But as I got older, and especially after I moved southward, I realized just how integrated pork is to many dishes.  

Asian food? Lots of pork options;  Spanish? Same thing;  Live in the south? Pork in everything.

So I got a little more accustomed to eating pork and even found myself enjoying it more on occasion.

And then it started.  The area around my fingernails would get really inflamed and painful, and one time it even sent me to urgent care it was so bad. After numerous doctor visits, the best they could think was I had paronychia, which is essentially inflammation of the nail and bed and often because of the regular use of one's hands. 

And that never really sat well as a diagnosis.  Then years later I started musing on what caused this sudden symptom when I've never had it prior to moving.  Then I realized that after moving, I started eating more gluten and pork.  Suddenly I had a mini "ah-hah" moment and wondered if either of those were the culprit.  I'm sensitive to lots of foods, so who knew?  I had the allergy doctor test me for allergies to pork and it was barely raised / negligible.  

But within 2 weeks of no longer eating pork, the symptoms disappeared.  Completely.  And just to test, I ate pork again (just once) and bam! back.  

So, who knows why things happen, but sometimes our bodies tell us something is wrong and we have to work to figure it out.  So for anyone else dealing with these kind of sneaky allergies, best of luck to you.  I know they are so frustrating.