HH&R: Trusty Tips for Cleaning

If you know me, then you know I am not the cleaning guru.  However, I am married to one, and that has its perks.  It also comes with hearing, "...I JUST cleaned that!!" as I inevitably used something as mundane as he sink or shower or toilet...or...you know...walked on the floor.

So here are some of the tips for keeping your house clean!  And many of them require very few "specialized" ingredients, though our robot vacuum / mop is not one of them.  We use all these things in our own home, use them when we are cleaning a property after a renovation, and we recommend them to our renters as well!

The Household Staples:

If you don't already have these things, I recommend you get them immediately.  We buy in bulk from Costco, but if that's not your thing or you don't have the space, any store carries them.  The best part is they're budget friendly and great for folks like me who hate using chemicals when I don't have to and also seem to have allergies to everything.

• Alcohol (the Isopropyl form, sometimes called "rubbing alcohol")
• More than just for cuts and scrapes, this is wonderful for the house, too!  And even the classroom.
• Keep it in a spray bottle and you can use it to clean:
• dry erase boards
• makeup brushes
• stainless steel / sinks / chrome
• and deodorize shoes
• or get rid of fruit flies
• and refresh sponges
• and remove sticky substances from stickers
• and disinfect computer / keyboard / phone / mouse

• Baking Soda
• Add to water and soak veggies and fruit for 10-30 min to remove pesticides.
• Add it and hot water to pots and let them soak to remove stains and burnt-on buildup
• Put in your fridge to eliminate odors
• Put in any room to eliminate odors.
• Mix with a little water to make a paste and use it to clean and brighten grout
• Sprinkle in toilet bowl and let stand 15-20 min, then scrub with toilet brush
• Add 1/2 cup to your laundry to brighten and deodorize clothes
• Sprinkle on carpet to lift stains and odors

• Hydrogen Peroxide (DO NOT EVER MIX WITH VINEGAR! THAT IS TOXIC!)
• Douse the shower once a week. You'll hear it bubble and watch it foam a bit as it combats the bacteria and grime.  Leaves it clean.  No chemicals required, and that is something you can feel good about!  You can even use these OXO Clean Brushes to help scrub the grout every month or so to really help keep the build-up at bay.  (we try to go plastic free, but we do like these...)
• Also great to use on cuts and scrapes before you use alcohol

• Vinegar (DO NOT EVER MIX WITH HYDROGEN PEROXIDE! THAT IS TOXIC!) - admittedly the smell of vinegar makes me gag and want to vomit, so my husband does all this and I stay out of the room. I have heard if you add the juices of two lemons to it, it helps, but I have yet to try that.
• Douse your washing machine every week and do a rinse cycle with nothing but vinegar.  It helps removes mold from the places you can and the places you cannot see
• And for clothes - was clothes in it that have a heavy smell in them either from intense workouts or if you buy them from a store and that store's fragrance smell won't leave after a wash.  Wash them in vinegar instead!
• Soak fruits and veggies in it to keep them from wilting or molding as quickly
• Run it through your coffee machines to descale it
• Do a 50/50 of vinegar and water in a spray bottle and you can use it to:
• clean household surfaces
• clean the floor
• spray ants outside to remove their scent trail
• degrease your stovetop 
• remove build up from faucets

For a lot of these, I'm told you can add drops of lemon or orange or their zest to brighten the scent as well, but as someone who is scent sensitive, we just use the ingredients as-is.  I'm sharing so you can find them helpful as well.  In an effort to protect budgets, keep costs down, help the planet by going eco-friendly where we can, we love these solutions and would love to hear how they have helped you as well!

Food: the Brain-Gut Connection and Supplements I've Found Helpful

I've spent a long time debating how much of my health stuff to share, but the more feedback and gratitude I receive when I talk about it, the more I think I'm probably not as alone in this as I seem, and if I'm doing the research, then someone else probably is, too.  So here's a little about what I'm dealing with and what I've found helps.

Note: I am not a medical professional.  This is my personal story and preference list, and I recommend you speak with a doctor before starting any supplements.

So, the big rocks - are you dealing with any of these?  Migraine?  Endometriosis?  PCOS?  "Undetermined GI issues" (IBD/IBS but also probably something more)?  Food sensitivities?  Perimenopause?

If you are, welcome!  If you are not, maybe you know someone who is.  And to that end I will say, I have no doubt in my mind these are all connected.  The Gut-Brain connection is real, and the Hormone-Gut/Brain connection is also real.  I know because I have tracked symptoms to cycle.  It's never 100% predictable, but there are some tells, like I have cravings and migraines and constipation or diarrhea or nausea at certain points in my cycle.  I even tracked at one point eating the same foods for 3-4 days in a row to see what happens, and based on additional factors (hormones, migraines, etc), I reacted differently to the same foods.  Crazy.  I also know that a GI upset spell can cause a migraine and vice versa.  Actually, at one of my employers I was the unofficial 'resident migraine speaker' for a few years.  So I've dealt with this a while.

And don't forget the less visible stuff: the vitamins, minerals, and blood markers!  These are all also related.

So here are some things I have found helpful.  All food or over the counter supplements.

Managing Anemia:  I've been officially anemic once, and it was severe.  But since then my numbers have always been low, albeit in range, and as I move and change doctors, new doctors aren't interested in prescribing a prescription strength iron supplement, so I've found my own.  They can be harsh on the stomach, and many have dyes in them (which I'm allergic / sensitive to), but I finally found one I love.  Have taken it for a while now.  Really helps.

I also have a folate / B12 deficiency (same story - was deficient, now runs really low) and they suspect I don't convert it well from foods, so I've been on a supplement for most of my adulthood.  I did a chewable for a while and then switched because it turned out my dog has the same issues.  Now I buy the pill that we can both safely take.

Managing Other Markers:  I've had an IV drip for being dehydrated (I didn't even know I was until my labs cam back), and my associated levels often like to dip and swing.  I get really hot in the summer and have a hard time staying cool, and I've finally realized I need help.  

• So I've picked up some Liquid IV.  I know there are other options out there, but this one has real sugar (fake sugar gives me a migraine) and fewer fake ingredients which could trigger me.  So I stick with them.  
  
  
  
• I also take a vitamin D supplement regularly and occasionally add in a Potassium supplement.  It rounds it out nicely. 
  
  
  
  
  
• My most recent doctors also mentioned that if I'm feeling dehydrated to eat a pinch of salt.  It sounded counter intuitive to me, but she said it is often one of the items missing and prompting you to be thirsty. 

Migraines and GI issues:  Here is the tricky one.  Since one affects the other, it's challenging for me to split this out, so I'm lumping them together.  

• I use Magnesium to help with migraines but I take half a dose.  I also take a complex because there are many varieties of magnesium and they'll beneficial for different things, and I don't want to choose.  The complex provides the variety.  It also helps with muscle aches, too.  Win-win.
  
  
  
• I use a probiotic recommended by my GI doctor because it has a high potency of many of the things he said I should have.  It also doesn't have everything, so I supplement with Arbonne prebiotic and probiotics as well.  (PS - if you want to try the Arbonne one and need a consultant to connect with, lmk.  Email me at Stephanie.truthsc@gmail.com) 
  
  
  
• I have a stool softener just in case.  I genuinely dislike them so I avoid them unless I'm really struggling and constipated and it's been more than 24-36 hours.
• Ginger and Turmeric tea - I was given this at a spa and never looked back.  Bought a one year's supply right away.  I have found that if I drink it regularly it helps the GI swings be a little more stable.  I tend to drink it at night.
  
  
  
• Hot lemon water - I have started swapping out my first cup of (decaf) coffee in the morning for hot lemon water.  It doesn't wake up the GI tract quite as effectively, so I still have coffee, but it does help put something less acidic into my system first, and I've found it helps ease me into the day.  Likely never going back.
• Avoiding raw vegetables or vegetables that aren't essentially 'over' cooked and sort of mushy.  My stomach just has a hard time breaking it all down, so I have found that the more it's already broken down, the easier it is.  I know many of you are saying "but that takes away so many nutrients!" and it does.  I do miss my salads, but I have found that I've come to love green drinks and other juiced versions of my fruits and vegetables.  And if I do eat vegetables, I try to keep them to a minimum in one sitting so as to not overwhelm my system.  If you do need a green drink, I love Suja.
  
  
  

If you're struggling with issues, I encourage you to talk to your doctors.  Plural. Get opinions from lots of folks - traditional western and eastern medicine.  Share your blood work results.  Get them updated yearly.  No two people are the same, so getting a sense of what might help and then using their help to put a plan together for you could be beneficial. 

Still haven't figured out the migraines or the perimenopause yet...but I'm working on it!

Food: The Gluten Free Life

Not everyone is gluten free. Not everyone needs to be. For some it's a choice.  For others, it's a medical restriction that needs to be abided.  Wherever you fall, you're not alone.  I want to share a little story and some of my fave items here in case you're new to this life, what to understand it better, or feel like sharing your own story and favorites in the comments!

Just because you don't have Celiac's doesn't mean you don't have sensitivity or aversions.  And if you're not Celiac's, gluten isn't a horrible thing for you to have now and again.  It's just something you need to pay attention to and listen to your body when you have it so you understand.

For example:  There are some breads I can eat and have no issue initially, and others immediately give me stomach pains.  Is that an additive?  Is that yeast?  Is that a specific type of gluten product?  I don't know.  I haven't been able to compare ingredients in a way that helps me determine which instance will be fine and which won't.  I can tell you, though, that (and you already know I have so many other food sensitivities like black pepper, cinnamon, FODMAP foods, and the whole gamut of latex foods) my body lets me know when it's unhappy.  When I eat gluten, my lip splits.  Usually on the left side, but it's been more creative and split on the right lately.  No idea why.  But that's where it likes to mount its protest.  Some people have asked if I'm "okay" because I have a black or split lip, but I explain it's just an allergic reaction.  Oh well.

So, because I don't know what exactly causes what, yet, I try to stay clear of gluten most of the time.  I allow myself a pastry or pizza or roll when I'm out, but that's not a daily or regular occurrence.  So, at home, I stay gluten free.  Here are some of my faves if you are building this life for yourself as well.  I've also listed some recipes in my blog, and you'll note that when I list flour it is a 1-1 ratio from gluten to gluten free flour, so that makes it simple!

Flour:  Ok, I love Cup for Cup but I don't find it often. My preferred gluten free flour.  If you're celiac or just sensitive and working to stay away from gluten, this is my go-to.  I found this initially at Williams and Sonoma and thought it was wonderful.  I will admit it is and can be hard to find at stores, but if you find it...yum.  It seems the most balanced and neutral flavored.

Ok, if I can't find cup for cup (and I usually can't) then King Arthur's Measure for Measure is my next pick.  It's also fairly neutral tasting and is usually 1-1 with most recipes.  Every now and again I find I have to add just a tablespoon or two more for the same density and bounce, but it's reliable in it's use and fairly reliable in its ability to be found on shelves.  It is a popular one, so it can go quickly.

Mac & Cheese:  There will never be a day when I don't love or want Mac & Cheese.  And finding a good gluten free one is a challenge.  Either the noodles are wrong or they messed the sauce up somehow.  Then...enter Goodles.  I don't know what they did, but Goodles figured it out.  THANK YOU!  It's a pasta with a good mouthfeel and chew and a cheesiness that doesn't make you miss the versions you shouldn't be eating.  As a perk it has fiber and protein (win!) but that's just a bonus, because it's fabulous on its own.

The cracker:  I'll admit, this is a hard one.  Really hard.  For me, with all my sensitivities, I can't do the cassava flour or almond flour ones.  I have favorites of those that I'll list here because they really are wonderful, but I'm really fairly relegated to one.  It's a good one.  I'm happy with it.  But I personally have limited options because of all my other sensitivities.  If you don't have those same obstacles, then I recommend all of the below.

The Oreo:  And lastly, don't forget you can still have OREOS!!!  They have a gluten free Oreo now, and somehow it seems to have cleaner ingredients than the original (which, take with a grain of salt, but it's still nice).  I even argue it tastes better.  Never forget your Oreo.

There are loads of other things to recommend, but I have found these are the staples.  I still don't have a good gluten free bread I love.  There are okay ones out there, and I'll eat them, but I'm not pining for them on a regular basis.  If you've found one, leave it in the comments!  Same with other items you've come to love!

LMOH: A New Substack

It's time to expand and flex my writing muscles! Welcome to my Substack!

If you follow my writing at all, either here or through having read my books, you've likely found a rhythm, pace, and style is common.  I like real things.  I have an imagination, but it's all rooted in realism.  And I think that what happens in our day to day is wonderful, fascinating, (stressful, challenging), and inspiring either in a creative way or in a way that pushes us to learn and grow.  

While I'm going to continue to focus on this blog in a recommendation and thoughts perspective, I am branching out into the Substack world, too, to allow me space to explore new genres of writing, preview things I'm working on, publish short works and poetry, and grow the Last Bite Publishing brand.

What will be the difference: 

Truthsc.com (this blog) - focus on LMOH, AOT, Food, and HH&R with anecdotes and links to my favorite recommendations.  I want this blog to continue to be a hub for those items you've come to love

Substack.com/@lastbitepublishing (Substack) - Create offerings in two fields: written work and business.  Allow for a place to test new material (new genres like smut, poetry, character development thoughts, obstacles in writing, etc) with like minded people in a space where that's the expectation from audiences leveraging the platform. Also showcase work my company AboutStephanie is doing related to business.

Both spaces have a place and a focus, and I want to continue to bring meaningful work to you through the varying avenues.  If you have a lean one way or another, pick a fave.  If you like staying well-rounded and informed, follow me on both!

I hope to see you join us there! Share the kinds of things you enjoy reading so I can consider them as I muddle through ideas and concepts for my next pieces!

LMOH: A Good Book

Maybe you're like me and your desire to jump into a book waxes and wanes.  And then maybe you're like me again in that when you do find that you're dying to jump into a good book, you're underwhelmed by your options.  I can't tell you how many books I've put down.  I try to give them 50 page (maybe 100 if they're longer) because somethings the uptick can be slow going but it ends up a great book.  Other times I'm so enthralled in the first few chapters only to be left disappointed by the half-way or three-quarters point, when suddenly everything that was good about the book evaporates and you're left with absolute garbage.

The latter has happened so frequently in the past few years that my friends and I have stopped recommending books to one another until after we are 100% finished.  No more, "OMG, I'm reading this book right now and..." conversations.  We don't want to be hoodwinked later and be recommending bad things!

So, when I look ahead of me and what I'm going to read, I'm left with a big blank "I have no idea".  So, ideas welcome!

That said, if you're looking for a good book, I have a handful to recommend.

Of course I'll start with my own books.  I write what I want to read, so I have 2 novels, 2 Spanish/English quote books, and 2 Kids books you should check out!  

Living with B - I wanted a story about living with eating disorders that didn't feel like its as dragging you down or that the only solution was religion.  Enter Nicole.  21.  Depressed.  And a voice in her head she fights with regularly.  Enjoy the occasional comedic relief as you learn that the line between "ok" and "not ok" is quite thin and that her life and inner monologue maybe isn't so different from yours.

The Summer of 3 - I wanted a summer read about relationships and combating social stereotypes that didn't involve high octane drama.  Not everyone cheats.  Not everyone is vindictive.  Sometimes the chaos is quiet and ever presently churning even though it's not noisy.  I wanted women to see themselves and their friends and their actual lives play out in a way that helps them learn something and grow.  F*** the patriarchy.  But don't screw over your friends.

Quotes in Spanish - If you're a language or quote lover - grab a copy.  They're so fun.

What Faye Loves and What Ein Prefers - a corgi series for kids 0-10.  I wanted grounding morals, lovable characters, and the charm of rhyming schemes I found I loved as a kid for the next generation.  Plus, proceeds give back to rescues!

Ok, so what other books.  Here are some of my other faves:

The Thirtheenth Tale - I'm not a fan of eerie or dark mystery, but I loved this book.  Strong characters.  Enticing read.  Makes you think.

Memoirs of a Geisha - I feel like everyone read this book 20 years ago, but the newer readers may have skipped it because it's 'old'.  It's not.  It's a great story about the struggles of women.  Timeless.  And so beautifully written.

The House on the Cerulean Sea - I picked this up via an online recommendation, and it did not disappoint.  I kept wanting it to be like Harry Potter, but it's not 'magical' in that way.  It's relatable and it makes you hope the underdog wins. If you've even been outside the main stream, you'll love this book.

Where the Sidewalk Ends - Poetry and short stories that speak to the kid inside you.  And they land differently as an adult.  It's not just 'fun to read' but it makes you think about all the ways these stories apply now that you never appreciated.

Never - Woah.  Heavy.  Deep.  Not uplifting at all, but wildly honest and real.  If you want to understand geopolitics and the global intricacies of dependency and power, and how all that is actually hangs by very precarious threads - this is a great read.

Hail Mary - All I can say is the movie had better do it justice.  I'm not big on sci-fi, and yet I gobbled up this book in less than a week.  Transportive.  Emotional.  Nail bitting.  Everything.  Yes, yes, yes.

Name of the Wind - I will warn you, I fell in love with this book and then was devastated to find out the series remains unfinished.  It's the first of 3, and it and the second book are out, but not the third.  It's a little like the darker side of magic without being a dark book, and I love that about it.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone - a psychology book for people who like to learn how the brain works, people thing, and problems are unwound.  Yes, there are partnering workbooks you can read along with this, but the book on its own is a win.

I probably could go on, but these are the 'top of mind' faves, if you will.  Share yours! Can't wait to hear what everyone else is reading, too!

Food: I Love Food / The Grocery Store Highlights

Ok, I don't know about you, but I love food.  Always have.  Expect I always will.  It's not like the former eating disorder me of "I want to gorge myself"...that's not 'loving' food.  That's inhaling food.  There's a difference.

No, I mean I love food.  I love the way it tastes. I love how enjoying variety creates space for pleasure and presence.  Watermelon in the summer makes you feel like you're in summer and eating candy on a hot day, whereas oranges in January make you marvel at the flavor and warmth as they bake into cranberry scones.  With my food sensitivities and GI issues, I can't always revel in the beauty of all foods like other can, and I think that makes me enjoy and appreciate food even more.  

So, spent today at the grocery store.  Well, ok, not the whole day.  An hour.  Spent an hour at the grocery store.  I venture to various stores for various reasons and products.  Today was The Fresh Market.  It's like what Whole Foods used to be like when it was good and now Amazon owned.  I went to get Frontier soup, specifically Corn Chowder, because it's my husband's favorite and we have an extra carton of cream (b/c I overestimated for another recipe), so why not!

But, as we all know, once you're in a grocery story - and if you love food and aren't on a VERY specific budget - you can keep spending.  So suddenly I was making recipes in my head and picking up things 'for the week'.  Even tried a new ice cream!  We'll see how that tastes, soon.  

Then there are the staples you always get.  I have a few:  

• Aloha bars are a must.  Finally a protein bar that doesn't taste like cardboard.  Our favorites are Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup, Chocolate Chip, and Chocolate Caramel Pecan.  We've had other favorites in the past, but as companies keep changing recipes or discontinuing things, we have to keep popping around. I don't love everything from this company, but these three bars are a win!  Be sure to check the ingredients, because different bars use different nut butters, so you'll want to pick one that works for you.
• Enjoy Life Mega Chunk Chocolate Chips.  Yes, please!  Real chocolate.  Real ingredients.  No guilt.  And the size of the mega chunks are e-v-e-r-y-thing.

• Rishi Ginger / Tumeric Tea - loose leaf or bags - A spa gave this to me one day, and I immediately went home and ordered a year's supply.  My GI tract has not looked back.  I didn't even think I'd love the intensity of tumeric and ginger, because they're specific and potent, but I do.  It's got a sweet and spicy quality to it.  But, beyond loving the flavor, I found that if I drink it daily or near daily, it actually helps with my GI issues, and I've tried nearly everything (even a lot of drugs don't help me).  I'm blown away.  Thank you, Rishi, for making such a great product!
• Elmhurst Milked Oats - A dairy-free milk that's actually clean. No added sugar, no garbage ingredients, just 3 simple things.  Finally!  We both were vegan 10 years ago (that's another journey for another day) and we've been through nearly all the alternative milks out there.  Oat was our preference when it came out, but we couldn't get past the sugar and 'junk' ingredients.  Then we found this one.  Great for lattes, cereal, and even baking.  I'll spend the extra.  It's worth it.

Even grabbed us some take away sushi. I know, it's not the same as a restaurant, but it hit the spot. A whole half-of-a-grocery-cart later, I came home with a pantry and fridge refresh and some summer food moments (watermelon, guacamole, watermelon juice, corn chowder mix, etc).  Already salivating.  It'll be a good week.

Share what you love to eat and why! 

LMOH: Dog Walking Attire

Ok, I don't know about you, but my dog loves walks.  He does - he could go for a "walkies" 17 times a day if I were in the mood.  He likes short walks, mind you (.3 miles at a time or less), but he loves them nonetheless.

He also has to go in the early morning hours and the evening hours, hours when usually I am in my pajamas.  Now, I don't know how you do it, but I don't want to have to change into different attire to take him up and down the block every time he asks to go out.  So, during the hot summer months when my PJs are light but maybe not what I would consider attire comfortable enough for me to be going for a walk without some kind of cover up, I've always felt a little 'stranded'.  I felt like my options were: a coat or cardigan, or change my attire.

Until now!  I have discovered the long, sleeveless cardigan.  And I'm OBSESSED.

Link: https://amzn.to/4v8beog

I always prefer black, and this one has pockets.  There are other colors, but they don't have pockets.  

When you pick one up, let me know your thoughts!

If you need other dog walking faves of mine:

Dog bags (biodegradable): https://amzn.to/43afJCR

Harness 1: https://amzn.to/4nJeMux 

Harness 2: https://amzn.to/4dG8kQw

Leash (it comes with a dog bag attachment!): https://amzn.to/43usHuZ

AOT: Insurance Marketplace

How many folks do you know being displaced right now?  It's happening in every market - tech, sales, finance, education, healthcare, etc.

And what do all these folks (in the US) have in common?  They're all scrambling to figure out their insurance.

Proposal:  All individuals get their insurance "on the market".  No employer coverages.  Employers can provide pre-tax dollars to pay for health insurance coverage (like an HSA but of the actual monthly cost, so it would either be in the same HSA/FSA bucket or a wholly separate account...can decide that later).  That way, the family knows and has budgeted for their medical expenses for the year, regardless of their employment situation.  Still have all the companies available to you to pick from.  Still have all the plan options, but this gives people real ability to plan their life.  Employers can offer perks of "assistance in coverage costs" and if you lose your job you lose that benefit...kind of like "employed vs cobra" now, but it's not as much of a shock when you lose your job and then see what COBRA actually costs.

I know of a situation where the insured spouse was displaced.  You'd think: "Luckily, the benefits continue through the severance period"...and while that's true and good in one aspect (the immediacy of needing to find coverage is foregone) the flip side is not so great.  They're going to be done with severance in Aug. Their coverage is good though Aug.  Starting Sept 1 they have to find new insurance.  

Now, you might also think: "Luckily, the spouse is employed and can get insurance," and, again, while true, their employer requires up to 60 days notice of a qualifying event to effectively change coverage.  So, for them to be covered starting Sept 1, they have to submit paperwork of the qualifying event by June 1.  

So, now you're thinking: "Fine, just submit the termination paperwork, and that'll be it".  Nope. The spouse's employer requires the COBRA information and any other documentation showing the end date of coverage.  The originally employed / covered spouse's company doesn't sent that letter until AFTER the severance period ends.

If you're doing math, that means:  Last date of severance is (let's say) August 7.  Aug 7 company 1 sends the info.  It arrives (if we're pretending mail sends quickly) by Aug 14.  Spouse submits it to company 2 Aug 17th (b/c sometimes mail comes after business hours).  Now company 2 technically has until October 17th to cover them (so possibly starting coverage Oct or even Nov).

That means this couple has the potential to be without coverage or have to pay COBRA prices for 1-3 months (Aug, Sept, Oct).

"So just save the money" you say.  Fine.  We'll forgo the reality that COBRA can be 3-5x what the individual is paying through their company.  But remember, each time you change insurance company coverages, your deductible restarts.  So, while COBRA allows them to keep their coverage and their paid-to-date deductible...their coverage will start over in Sept/Oct when they move to the spouse's insurance.

So why not stay on COBRA?  That's a fair argument, and maybe for this couple being in the back-half of the year, that makes sense. But what if you're laid off the first half of the year and you already had a decent number of health events?

The whole system is messed up and needs to be redone.  I just feel for all these people in the middle of these horrific events already trying to figure out their upended lives without the stress of managing through health care too.

LMOH: A Small Token

 Yesterday I headed to a book event where I had a booth to sell my novels (www.lastbitepublishing.com for all my works).  The event ended up just okay for me, as it was really more of a romance / fantasy crowd and my books have a hyper-realism vibe.  But I didn’t know that going in, and events can be 50/50 on the cash vs venmo situation, so I stopped by the bank to grab some small bills in case I needed to make change (I didn’t, but again, didn’t know that.)

Well, after I was handed my cash, the teller also handed me a white carnation and said, “Happy Mother’s Day”.  Wow.  I stood a little baffled for a moment and then took the flower and said thank you, and as I stared at the carnation, confused, walking out of the bank, I surprised myself by suddenly smiling.  What a fun surprise!  I may not be a mom in the traditional sense of having human children, but I do have fur babies.  I am a mom.  And even if I didn’t, you know what? The fact that a bank spent the money to give me a flower is fun.  Mom or not.  So many companies are taking things away from consumers right now and firing people claiming “AI” and “budget” (opinions on that reserved for another day), that consumers are just exhausted.  I loved every moment of having that flower, even though I had no need for it.  It was thoughtful and kind, and I know it cost even the tiniest bit of money that other companies would have cried “no budget!” and run the other way.  

Do I want or need a flower every time I go to run an errand?  No.  But would I love to see more companies spend a little extra to make customers feel appreciated?  10000%. Because without us, and without us having disposable income…they have no customers.  

AOT: Application Questions Need A Revamp

 Ok, if you’ve read my article about the application process needing rework, then you likely know where tho is going.  If you haven’t read it yet, keep scrolling.  It’s worth the read!

Ok, so application questions.  I don’t mean name and email, though I do actually have concerns with those things being visible before you’re selected.  Why? Because if we’re really going to select the best candidate, keeping personal info hidden helps to reduce any bias, subconscious or otherwise.  

And that’s where all these additional questions don’t make any sense to me.  Why am I picking my gender, race (and sometimes answering this questions multiple ways), veteran and disability status?  If you’re saying, “because discrimination,” I challenge that because most forms now allow you to opt-out of answering them with a “decline to self-identify”.  Years ago declining to answer wasn’t an option.  Now it is.  For all these questions.  So if I can decline all the questions, why am I answering them at all?  At this point, the most unbiased way to handle this is to not ask them at all.  If you need interview accommodations then that comes up when they request the interview.  If you’re extended the offer and need accommodations, then that comes up after the offer has been extended.  It just makes no sense for me to pick “decline to self-identify identify” for all these questions. Again, if that’s an option, then don’t make me answer them.  You can ascertain some of that from my name alone - which is also not ok, and why I think they should be masked until the interview is extended.  

I also don’t know why my education matters.  Maybe for entry positions, it’s a quick differentiator, but once you have 2-3 years experience under your belt, why does it matter?  So many jobs can be taught, and the interview process should be ascertaining if you’re capable of the learning and thought process required.  Otherwise it’s on my resume.

I will say some of these companies are better about not asking you to re-parse your uploaded resume.  And for that I’m grateful.  And I have heard some people are uploading their resumes in a format that create an image instead of a searchable format - but that’s on the company for allowing you to upload in that format in the first place.

Still a long way to go.  Best of luck to all applicants.

HH&R: cleaning with Hydrogen Peroxide or Vinega

 Note: NEVER MIX THE TWO.  It created an acid that is harmful.  Again, NEVER MIX THE TWO.

That said, using one or the other to clean is PHENOMENAL.  It’s safe, healthy, has no toxic chemicals for scent nor leaves any residue.  It kills topical bacteria and mould.  It sanitized.  It brightens.  It’s amazing.

Recently we were cleaning a rental property for the new tenants.  We’d had a good amount of renovation done inside so there was your standard “Reno debris” like dust or dirt.  But we’d also received the house in a condition that made us wonder if it had ever been cleaned, not just topically wiped down.  My husband went through 8 bottles of vinegar to get the gunk out of the washing machine.  (We had to totally replace the dryer vent pipe.  So gross).  He used multiple bottles of hydrogen peroxide on the shower that we hadn’t redone and by the time he was done I said “omg the tile had a blue hue to it?! No way! So pretty”.  And the grout was almost white again!  The floorboards and tile had no residue on them after two rounds of a vinegar and water mixture cleaning, and everything just finally felt and looked clean again.  

I joke that most people’s basic level of cleaning gets them to about 40-60% and they’re happy to hire a cleaning service to get it to 70-80%.  My husband and my level of clean is 70-80% so it’s just on us (and let’s be honest, on him bc he loves it and is sooooo good at it) to get it to 90-95%.  So when it starts at 20% clean and we get it to 80-95%, the reward is wonderful.  

And all because hydrogen peroxide and vinegar exist.  Never mix them, but separately, they are amazing!

HH&R: Take Photos to Mark Progress or Issues

Home renovations can be incredibly exciting.  They can also be incredibly taxing and stressful.  One of the best means to addressing both?  Photos.

You can start by planning to do straight "Before and After" photos, but I'm talking more.  More photos.  More leverage to help you see progress and more clear cut explanation drivers for concerns.

Why take photos:

- For personal reasons:  Photos allow you to look back at progress and see what things looked like, remember what you've been through, show the progression, and help you see the 'forest despite the tree's, if you will.  As we renovate our home, we find ourselves looking back at photos going "oh! right!  OMG I can't believe it looked like that one time!"  Even though you think you're going to remember how amazing the transformation is, the reality is that sometimes because you see it all the time and are in the middle of it, progress doesn't seem as exciting.  Photos help you remember and really enjoy the actual progress you made.

- For working with contractors:  There's an old saying that says "You can say you see a 6, and I can say I see a 9, and depending on where we're standing, we can both be right but frustrated because we don't see the other's point of view."  Same is true for construction.  Having photos help give everyone the same starting point for the conversation.  It allows you to explain to the trades folk doing work what you're seeing and why it's a concern, and it also gives them the same starting point for explaining their thinking and perspective.  Without it, you all 'hope' you're basing your discussion in the same assumptions.  With photos, there's no assuming.

Happy renovation!

AOT: Choosing Where Your Taxes Go

 Ok, it's that time of year - Bonus Season - and it brings up a lot of angst for a lot of people.  If you don't get a bonus, you can still relate. 

Every paycheck we get includes the removal of money to taxes.  You notice it more at Bonus Season because of the sheer % they remove which is often higher than your normal tax bracket, but irrespective of your tax bracket, this cool idea popped into my head.

What if you could define how you wanted your tax money allocated?!

Disclaimer - I'm actually pro-taxes.  I like roads and infrastructure.  I'd like to see universal health care and public transportation and a greater sense of humanitarianism and environmentalism.  But even if those aren't your choices, I bet you'll still find this idea worth discussing.

How it would work:  When you sign up for a job (or if you have a job where you don't pay taxes / e.g. you pay your own taxes, etc, then you'd do the selections there) you select the top 3-5 areas you want your taxes to go. 

• Infrastructure (roads, bridges, sidewalks, internet, lighting, etc)
• Education
• Transportation (busses, trains, also bridges, etc) - similar to infrastructure, but with additional other items
• Defense
• Parks & Recreation (environmental protection, parks, public land maintenance)
• Social services
• Healthcare
• Historical restoration and preservation
• ETC

Obviously a portion of your taxes would go to fund the headcount required as well - thinks you can't get out of because in order for government to work, you have to pay people to work in government, but the rest of it (and the bulk of it) would be defined by you.  And it would go in equal parts to those areas.

What does this do? This gives an immediate voice to the working public telling elected officials how they want their money spent.  Now, many of these services would cross (e.g. healthcare and social services and education, infrastructure and transportation, even defense) but the point is we identify how we want our money spent by where we elect our dollars to go.  Then based on how much that particular fund has, they can do things with it.  If 95% of people elect "healthcare", then guess what?  The government now has motive and money to move towards universal healthcare.

Etc.  

Would this upset the balance of power, politics, and capitalism?  100%. But maybe it's time for America to join the rest of the world in taking care of its citizens and for its citizens to start thinking of themselves as global and community participants instead of solo players fighting one another.

Burnt Out Millennial (mix) is Live!

I'm so excited!  My album, Burnt Out Millennial (mix), is officially live!

Sample all 17 tracks and connect to the major platforms:  Spotify & Apple Music / iTunes

• https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/aboutstephanie/burnt-out-millennial-mix?ref=release

YouTube Music is coming soon.  Keep tracking my page.  https://www.youtube.com/@AboutStephanie

Quick Synopsis:  This is the mix CD we'd burn today if that's what we did. Written for millennials navigating adulthood in a world that changed, this album moves through exhaustion, anger, humor, nostalgia, and small, stubborn hope.

Seventeen tracks. Different voices. Different styles.
Pop, rap, ballads, country, grunge, Latin, K-pop — all tied together by the same chapter of life.

For anyone who did what they were told… and is now adapting, recalibrating, and sometimes white-knuckling it anyway.

Why it matters:  There's a quiet understanding that as you age, the music of the day is no longer for or about you.  Maybe that was okay in generations past, but today's Gen X & Millennial generations need an outlet that both understands them and caters to them.  Our music was varied, angry, happy, wistful, hopeful, and frustrated.  And our music from the 90s and 2000s is still good, but we want songs that are today-relevant.  I worked really hard to make that possible.

I genuinely hope you find at least one track to love.  Share which one that is and why!  Happy listening!

LMOH: Creativity

I had some time off at the end of last year, and during it something in my brain switched on.  I've always been creative, but I'd been creative in long projects - novels, kids books, etc.  A friend over the holidays told me about Suno, an AI music app, and while I'm not the biggest proponent of AI (I think it has LOTs of good application and possibilities - like robot vacuums and mops - I don't think people are taking or appreciating the level of risk mitigation and oversight it should be coming with), I don't have the voice or musical instrument capabilities to create songs.  However, I AM a writer.  And lyrics and prompting the general tone of the song I can do.

And I have.  And it's SO fun.

What I will say is that creativity doesn't have a timeline.  I can't say "I'm going to be creative from 7-8pm or 12-1pm or 8-9am".  At least mine doesn't.  Maybe some of you have creativity switches that you can flip on and be focused for a set timeframe, but I do not.  I have found that most of my lyric writing is either prompted after I've heard or thought of the musical inspiration, or after 9pm, when I'm in bed trying to sleep (which I also can't fault because now instead of my brain being awake with anxiety while I'm trying to sleep, it's working out song lyrics...much less anxiety producing).

So if you want to be creative, first start by rewarding your creativity when it turns on, whatever time that may be!  If you love on it, it will love you back.  And creativity is good for the mind and soul.